Tag: Blogging

Lost in Time – July 16 Camping

Lost in Time – July 16 Camping

I will have to ramble again. My time is likely short and I feel lost, lost in time.

20120716-205316.jpgI’m alone for the present, I chose to stay back while others went to the beach. My options are: puttering about the site, reading, or posting. At this point in my free time I’ve chosen to blog, although because I’m ADHD I’ve tried to do all 3 and just just finished up with blogging.

My daughter and her family left yesterday morning but my sister-in-law, her husband, their daughter (my Neice) and her husband and 3 kids are still camping next to us. In addition my wife’s cousin and her 3 kids have also been camping in Herald and have just relocated their tent to the site next to the family.

I don’t want to sound like a stuck record but the activity is, at times, overwhelming. I’ve noticed that even my wife, who espouses the “gotta spend time with the family” philosophy has even retreated on a few occasions to her “castle”, which at present is the trailer. It seems even she is not immune to the vagaries of this camping life.

“Teach me to behave sincerely and reasonable toward every member of my family and all other human beings, that I may not cause confusion and sorrow to anyone.” -Unknown

I feel for my nephew who at times strikes me as being a bit submerged in the activities on any particular day. We have similar needs I suspect and where I have the ability (read luxury) to temporarily depart the hubbub I don’t know that he does. Or he may have the ability but like me on so many occasions cannot muster up the “stones” to do so.

I’ve lost my “alone time” and will have to wrap it up. The time is lost again, perhaps I’ll find it tomorrow.

Lights out, cya

July 14 Camping at Herald

July 14 Camping at Herald

Oh what a relief it is. The temperature has dropped but it feels to me like some emotions may have heated up.

It could just be me however, I have been known (or so I thought) to be a poor judge of so many things emotional and people. Funny thing is I used to consider myself quite adept at reading situations, and people’s moods in them. Are they mad or stressed? Now I just wonder, are they or aren’t they? Only their hairdresser knows for sure.

Apart from any possible sub-currents of tension I am having a pretty good time. I’m not too stressed at this point, and I don’t really see that changing soon. I certainly hope not anyway. I like it when we get time with my daughter, her husband, and our grandson Madden. I just love that little guy to death, but I think I’ve said that before.

Other family is here as well and although I also love them, and enjoy spending time with them (most of the time anyway), there are moments where I miss my quiet times. I would love nothing more than just being alone for a while, in my castle. That would be my yard, or on my deck surrounded by my roses. There is no one but myself that I can charge with the responsibility of my happiness though. It’s up to me to make my bed isn’t it, it’s not up to anyone else to make me happy.

20120715-113658.jpgWe went on a bit of a family walk this morning up to Margaret Falls. It’s a local touristy thing, a walk through the forest along a meandering stream. That doesn’t truly paint the picture though, the forest is lush in sections with dappled sunlight, and the stream is fast and turbulent. A beautiful walk nonetheless, a calm in a sea of chaos.

I am getting some quiet time now though. It’s what’s allowing me to write this and I fear at any moment it will be cut short as family arrives back from the beach.

My wife and I offered to babysit as the “kids” went back to the beach to swim and paddle board. They don’t often have the opportunity to escape together so this was good for them, they can spend some alone time and we can contribute by caring for Madden. I had just taken him for a long walk while others napped so they actually had a good couple hours of aloneness already. It’s good for them. It’s good for me.

Supper will be ready shortly so this little hiatus of mine will end. I’ll be lucky to have anything meaningful posted by then, or so I suspect, but with some luck I can come back to it, if it’s not completed. Here’s hoping.

July 12 Camping

July 12 Camping

Time is flying by, and I know not where it’s gone. I only wish I could recapture it, experience it again.

We have been camping or on the road now since July 6th and I haven’t journaled or blogged since then.  Actually that is not totally correct, I blogged about Madden on the 7th.  Shows what my memory is like, good but short.  Or as a friend said to me, “my memory is good, it’s my recall that’s the shits”.

My back/ lower side has been bothering me the last few nights and the first night it chose to rear its ugly pain ridden head it reached such a crescendo of discomfort I was unable to get to sleep.  I thought perhaps the cause was the bag-type chair I’ve been using so I switched to either standing up or sitting in a different lawn chair since then.  This is the first day I’ve tried sitting in my chair since then and as I sit here, on my lawn chair/throne, surveying my campsite domain, I pulled out my iPhone and will pen some thoughts.

Writing anything here is a challenge for me. I am easily distracted, I already have a short attention span, and I am also easily lead astray. A prime senior ADD candidate Not a good combo for someone endeavoring to maintain their blog. Oh I wish I were stronger of will and not so wishy washy. We are so often critical of ourselves aren’t we?

My other current excuse is the lack of cell service, read that as Internet. Since my posting is done either via phone or laptop I’m somewhat hooped on both counts. In reality that’s a bunch of bunk, and if I had the appropriate amount of willpower it wouldn’t be an issue. I can get a cell connection down at the beach, should I choose to avail myself of it. I can also journal anytime and anywhere as all I need is my journal and a pen or pencil. Hell, a piece of charcoal and a deerskin would work. They’ve been used for centuries.

Whatever the reasons for not posting there’s far too many distractions now. I’ll have to finish later.

Thanks for Writing Award, and Time Flies….But where does it fly to?

Thanks for Writing Award, and Time Flies….But where does it fly to?

The Thanks for Writing Award

The other day I was given the honor of sharing the “Thanks for Writing Award” by My Soulful Healing.  Needless to say it came as a bit of a surprise, a very pleasant surprise but a surprise nonetheless.  It’s just that I haven’t been on the blog scene for some time now, by writing any recent posts I mean, and I’m very! grateful I am still on someones mind.  I still need to find out how to fulfill this honor, or pass it on.  The sharing of the award has inspired me though and I’ll endeavor to improve my blog presence. Awards are a nice thing.

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My Holy Place

My Holy Place

The rain has continued now for the past two days and while it brings much needed moisture to the grounds it dampens any enthusiasm for one to go outside (pun intended).  I’m ok with it at this time though as it supports my choice to get something accomplished indoors, chores around the house being one option.  It also supports me spending some time blogging, which is getting sadly neglected and in dire need of a boost.

I’ve managed to keep up my journal, the morning pages, and even though the weather is wet and cool I have stepped out of the house onto the deck to write.  It is in the shelter of the house and is close enough to being outside at this time. I wrapped myself in a lap blanket and have persevered, relishing the freshness of the air and listening to the birds sing their spring songs.  Our wind chimes play their tunes occasionally as well, and when the breeze picks up their rich notes bring a church-like quality to the atmosphere.

Chairs in the Holy placeWhat I’ve been waiting for however is the opportunity to sit in the area of our front yard where I feel at most at peace, the spot I’ve recently christened my “Holy place”.  The descriptor came to me days ago when I was sitting in my recliner looking longingly out the window at that area, thinking the time will soon come when I can be out there, when both the weather and temperature will support my visit.  First, or best I should say, would be when my Adirondack chairs will be finished and placed in their special place under the boughs of the maple, where I can sit in the dappled shade and relish in the beauty of the moment.  The fountain will be gurgling in the background and sweet fragrance of flowers will be in the air.  The temperature will be perfect and my mind will temper it’s exuberance to take me into outside chores, there will be time a plenty for those.

In addition to the peacefulness of the area it’s a spot that provides me a glimpse of my toys, a truck or two, and the camping trailer that’s about to be used. It’s a comfortable area and I feel enclosed in it’s graces.  It saves me, I am at peace in my Holy place.

Do you have a holy place, and if so where is it?

Blogging Adventures

Blogging Adventures

I never appreciated how complicated, yet so simple, something like a blog can be.  I’m sure the designers have an appreciation for the complexity etc. and I figured I’d have it figured out in a snap, but such is not the case.

In an effort to improve the looks of my blog I felt some changes were needed.  Perhaps a theme change, some posts re-organization, and category creation would be beneficial. I’ll rewrite my “About” page and just generally update things. To streamline the process and minimize any collateral damage I thought that creating a second blog and making changes to it would be the key.  That way I should be able to learn the various processes of making any changes, see them in action, and hopefully not destroy or delete any original posts that have collected over the past year or so.  For the most part that was how it went down.

After creating the second blog in the theme I desired I felt I needed a good selection of posts/categories/pages etc to play with.  To generate this quickly (it’s all about fast don’t you know) a wholesale importing of another blog would be required. It seemed like this blog would be a perfect candidate as it was the one I wanted to change anyway, so I read through the various WordPress instructions on “Importing blogs”, followed the steps, and badda bing badda boom we were off to the races.

Before I go any further I have to say the documentation I found was excellent, if anything went wrong it’s only because I failed to read about it, or I did read the info but was to arrogant to actually “read” it and just skimmed over the highlights.  That is certainly one of my character flaws.

So the “test” blog now has the new theme, has all my copied posts/comments etc., and I’ve played with the categories and created new menu items.  Did you know you could convert a tag into a category and visa versa?  Too cool.  Made organization a breeze and made it easier to find posts on certain topics.  To whoever invented that my hat goes off to you.

I think I’m pretty much done with my testing now and ready to go whole hog on the original blog.  Unfortunately I’ve realized after the fact that in the original set up of this blog I renamed some pages, such as the Home page, and it has created some potential wrinkles.  Before I go much further I will have to see if I can undo my change and try to get back more to the original structure.  Not a biggy but when I made the original change I didn’t appreciate any potential implications, specifically the blog opens up to “About Me” instead of the primary posts page.

At any rate I’ll do a bit more concerted studying and then make my changes.  I hope I don’t lose anyone in the process.  Hang in there.

Wake up and Smell the Roses

Wake up and Smell the Roses

The title for this post is a mis-quote by a chap I used to work with, we called them Tommy’isms and there were a few. This one is a cross between “Wake up and smell the coffee” and “Stop and smell the roses” and it came to mind after reading a post by RCGale called “Writers seem to be writing about the things they feel they ought to be writing about, and not the things that obsess them”. The post resonated with me because that particular challenge is one I currently face and struggle with almost every time I post. It seems to be so prevalent in my blogging life I’ve posted about it before.

The original intent for me was to record what I was thinking and feeling on any given day and somehow make some sense of it. By journalling I wanted to provide something to others, to show readers (if there were any) that they were not alone, there was at least one other person out there who thought the same as them or was experiencing the same or similar things. Somehow, in some subtle way, it morphed into being more about the writing and less about the “why”.

I still have the challenges and I have taken Ross’s post as reminder that the writing should be from “the heart”, with the purpose of expressing ones thoughts and feelings, and not for the sole reason to collect readership and in many cases increase sales. That’s not to say that books written for that purpose are somehow wrong or mis-guided, the author need only be clear in their own mind what their intent is.

So in order to accommodate both purposes (because I’m all about pleasing everyone) I will try to remember my original goal and write from my gut, but do it in a pleasing and palatable way that makes it a “good read”. After all, if it’s not easy to read and enjoyable what’s the point, right? Please let me know what you think.

Inspiration from Others

Inspiration from Others

"Writing", 22 November 2008
“Writing”, 22 November 2008 (Photo credit: dr_ed_needs_a_bicycle)

Inspiration can can come from many sources, whether it’s the beauty of an scene outside your window or the heartfelt comments of a friend or loved one. In my case it’s more the latter with both sources, friend and family, having a part.

My mother should get highest honors in that arena having written 2 books so far and working on her 3rd. She has sent me her rough texts to read and in the process I’ve grown to have a better understanding of her and her past.  She inspires me.

My friend is an additional source having started her own blog. She has a knack for the art and although she’s only posted a few times I see a maturity and openness in her posts that give me hope for mine.  She is a single mother and I’m awed with her energy.

All we can hope for is to reach others through our written word.  It’s not the inspiration that challenges me, I often have that.  The ideas are there, I’ve only to tap into them.  It’s the dedication and determination to create another post, something that will strike a chord with others.  Whether it’s the time I don’t seem to have or the energy that’s evaporated from my life I’ve become stuck again.  I tell myself that retirement will cure that problem, that it will alleviate the stress that demotivates me and provide me with the time and energy that will move my writing forward.  I’m optimistic, and in the end isn’t optimism part of the solution?

So I will keep posting, on a frequency that works for me now.  In the upcoming months I hope to have more time and with a little luck and continued inspiration perhaps I’ll pick up the pace.  I read somewhere that typically blogs will die within one month, that the blogger will run out of steam or enthusiasm and the posts will cease.  I hope that will not be the case with me. It’s been just short of a year and I see no end in sight.  I’ll keep you “posted”.

Looking for that Pay Off, Manny here I come

Looking for that Pay Off, Manny here I come

Where does depression leave off and laziness begin?  How do I differentiate between the two?  Is it that if I don’t have the energy it’s one and not the other, cuz let me tell you it doesn’t seem that simple to me.

I was feeling so good and now, well, not as good, and I can’t tell if it’s just me or the symptoms of something bigger.  Hmmm, inquiring minds need to know, and I can’t figure it out.  One thing I do know is that perseverance pays off, and I bound and determined to get that pay off, and it better be a big one.

Retirement dominates my thoughts lately, whether tis nobler to remain and be a martyr or to leave like a coward in the night.  Most days I think the latter is the better choice, and many of my family, friends, and acquaintances agree.  Not the coward part, but the “leaving is better” part.  Kind of depart on a high note so to speak.

I have lofty goals in my retirement, I can see myself being my kids “Manny”, their words not mine, and sitting under an old oak tree plotting my life and blogging my heart out.  That is of course between bottle feedings and the odd diaper change.  Throw in the love and adoration I’ll get from all involved and my life will be bliss.

So it seems we’ve come full circle, I’m bummed, I see a possible way to get out, and the big payoff is within my grasp.  At this point it’s only fear that holds me back (I think….).

A Fire in the Hole

A Fire in the Hole

I wish I could say I’m back with a vengeance and there’s a Fire in the Hole but that would only be wishful thinking. It’s been nigh on one month since I’ve shared anything with you and and while the holidays can take a portion of the blame it’s really only my own apathy and a general personal malaise that are responsible.  There is a pent up desire though and look out if and when it explodes.

My meds have been boosted and I had high hopes, dreams that I would once again be whole and ready to do my blogging best to spill my guts. It just never happened.  If it’s the depression I’m not sure, but I don’t feel appreciably better and my passion for the blog has waned.  It is sad that I’m saying this, and I know in my gut and in my head that while it may be true, it truely isn’t, if that makes any sense.  It’s true that right now I don’t have the passion to blog but It’s also true I want the passion to do just that.  I think/hope I can get it back, I believe I have the knack for this and I’ll do my utmost to get back my fire.

On a positive note I have been maintaining my personal journal, all hand written, and my proverbial guts are spilled there, but you haven’t the opportunity to read that now do you?  Maybe it’s for the better as it is mostly a routine bitch fest and not really the least bit entertaining I don’t think.  Here at least I have the opportunity to provide some entertainment (hopefully) and even something thought provoking, maybe stimulating.

So I’ll work on getting this fuse lit.  I hope the powder’s dry and the winds of malaise don’t overpower me.  If I can keep it going we’ll see some action, if not……..stay tuned.