Tag: Losing a child

Depression. Mine is……well, Depressed – pt.2

Depression. Mine is……well, Depressed – pt.2

In my previous post I was giving a bit of an update on how I see things have gone for me lately, how I’m feeling better and generally less angry and frustrated.  I think I’m coming out of this tunnel called Depression. I believe I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s not an oncoming train (I hope).

I discussed some of my symptoms, the treatments and path I took to deal with it, the meds and my visits with a counselor.  I left off with the discussion about if the death of my sons had any role in my depression.

More to the saga – read here

The Day is the Same, Just Different

The Day is the Same, Just Different

Wow, where do I start?  Today is, as they say, ” the first day of the rest of your life”.  It is a new beginning, it is an end to an old life.  I have officially worked my last day.  Now some may argue and say I’ve never worked a day in my life but I would differ, I’ve worked lots.  It’s only my career in the mill that’s over. At least it’s over for now, if I get called back then it’s all bets are off, it’ll be an old “new” beginning or a new old one I’m not sure.

To celebrate (or drown my sorrows) I’ve hit the pub where I’ll ruminate and write down my last thoughts, as long as I can still write anyway.  The day was not bad, just not good, not happy nor sad but full of emotions nonetheless.  I did my glad handing and had the token coffee and cake with the administration group.  I rambled at the mouth and tried to say something profound but I didn’t feel as if the crowd was with me.  I sensed they were waiting for the pain to end so they could get back to their desks and continue with whatever important tasks they had.  In all truthfulness I got a warmer reception from the rank and file, the front line as opposed to the back office group. Grunts instead of accountants if I may be so bold. Don’t get me wrong my son in law is an accountant but the real work is done on the floor in the “hands on”, not in the administration of the work.  Sorry, sad but true.

Anyway I digress, lets get back to me.  I’m melancholy, back to s’appy and h’ad (or a cross between happy and sad for those that miss my intent). The beers are having the required effect so it appears my rambling may have carried over from my goodbye party.

Sooo, this leg of my work life is done, who knows what this next leg of my life will bring.  After experiencing the twists and turns of life that we’ve gone through I feel up for almost anything.  Certainly losing a child has got to be one of those moments and coming through that has made me stronger, retirement will pale in comparison to that.  “I am woman, I am strong”.  Wait a sec I’m not a woman, but I am strong.  Live long and prosper.

‘Nuf said.  Time to sign off.