Tag: Gifted

Blogging and Pitfalls

Blogging and Pitfalls

I spent a bit of time tonight looking for other posts or blogs on both depression and on gifted adults, reading a number of articles and have gained something, some of which is eye strain. There’s tons of info out there, wading through it for something appropriate (mostly for me) is tedious, and interesting. And I went from searching on how to improve my blog, to looking for content. Such is the pull of the internet

Books, Motivation and what Blogging means to me.

Books, Motivation and what Blogging means to me.

Funny how books can motivate you.  Over the last number of days or even weeks I’ve had little desire to read anything other than fiction.  I’ve got Management books up the wazzoo, Self Help books and others, but recently I’ve had no desire to read them.  I think the position I’ve taken of late is that moving up the corporate ladder as it were holds no interest for me any longer.  Not that it ever did, at least not seriously, it was more that I was more interested in doing what seemed like the right thing to do, workwise.  Look where it got me, not anywhere I feel good about anyway.  So I took on a new tack, I read what I want to read which lately has been fiction.

Now, back to the point of this post, after my meeting with Gloria I began thinking of some of the books I’ve got in my library and thought I might want to read them, for me this time, not for some idealized reason of improving my lot corporately.  The other thing is that I’ve noticed that it increases my blog posts, I write more as I read more.  I come across things of interest to me, things that make me go hmmm, and hope that by my posting on them I can bring some glimmer of interest to someone else..

Now that hasn’t happened yet, the interest to someone else part, and maybe it never will.  I just need to be ok with my posting for the sake of posting, to help me understand myself, why I think a certain way or do things in the way I do.  Maybe what I see, or how I see it, that is the reason Gloria thinks I should post, what the depression and being gifted means to me.

‘Nuf’ said?

G's visit- Word for the day is Adapting, I do it all the time

G's visit- Word for the day is Adapting, I do it all the time

It appears that keeping up the posts is a bigger challenge than I’ve anticipated, maintaining a schedule should not be too hard even though I can’t seem to achieve it.

I’m just waiting now for my appt with Gloria, don’t really know what we’ll chat about and I hope it will be fruitful.

One of my frustrations is continual procrastination, and I have a book on the topic and inevitably I continue putting off reading it.  There’s something in that statement I think.  I’ll have to resurrect it I think, and in fact at one point I thought I threw it out.

We could talk more about family issues too, either the mother/daughter dynamics, my annoyance with Mo’s sister, or perhaps my Dad and the issues around him.  Likely that will come up. I think my most relative emotion there will be guilt, for not being there for him and also for not wanting to be.  That’s likely the kicker.
~~~
After visit with Gloria:

Much of the above was discussed. And….

  • possible visit with Tracy
  • visiting/socializing with others, and likely work itself, require I “adapt”.  Hearing it expressed that way opened my eyes.
  • I shouldn’t feel guilty about my taking time away from Dad care, and asking for help
  • I’m doing well in setting boundaries when it comes to socializing, in camping and at home.  Ties in with the adapting theme.
  • we talked about what gifted means, about seeing connections between things that others don’t see, or seeing them sooner.  How I/we see or perceive more things around us, are sensitive to more sensory input (my words).
  • I talked of how I feel as if I’m seen as a good listener, a trusted confidant, a wise soul, and how that can drain me, taking in others troubles with no one to talk to myself.  I now talk to Gloria of course but ultimately a peer or someone of like mind, someone I can relate to on the same level, would be preferable.  She suggests hat will likely come.
  • we talked of this blog and the direction it has, and perhaps should, take. How I want to open up but at the same time are afraid of sharing too much.

I enjoy the chats when we do get into it, the nugget this week was my “adapting” to certain circumstances, a strength but something to be aware of so as not to overdo it.  I adapt when in social circumstances, I adapt in my job, I adapt in areas which are somewhat outside my comfort zone.  The act of adapting requires the expending of energy, putting up a “persona” of sorts, possibly a forcefield on occasion.

What I want to know is why can’t I come up with this shit on my own?  I’m supposed to be a bright guy. Go figure.

And as an aside, is it (that I feel) constant validation I think Ma is looking for, judging by my take on various comments and the context she makes them in?  Draining.

Procrastination Book

Procrastination Book

The book I’m currently reading is called “Procrastination: Why You Do It, What to Do About It Now”.

A few things in it that I see apply to me are “Mediocrity Builds Contempt”, “Excellence without Effort”, “There is a Right Way” to some degree “I Can’t Stand to Lose” and “All or Nothing”.

I will elaborate more later.

Been Away, Back from Camping

Been Away, Back from Camping

Wow, I didn’t think it was this long since I last posted.  We finished our camping at Kikomun and returned home.  The camping was great although the weather let us down, it was still good to be away.  I so got into the routine I forgot to take my meds a couple times.  No ill effects thank goodness, likely because of low dosage??

The drive home was a bit stressful because my truck had to work extra hard to pull the trailer over the pass(es). Thought I might not make it up a couple times, and going down I was stressed that my brakes wouldn’t hold us back.  Thank God we made it without event, although I see a new(er) truck is in our future.

Arriving back the task of dealing with my Dad took over.  We now are in the midst of making arrangements to get him tranferred from where he currently lives to somewhere closer to us.  At 80 he requires more attention and his health is failing him, as well as some of his mental accuity.

I’m still unhappy in my job.  In discussing it with a friend Dan E. I think part of the issue is that I believe I can see the “big picture” regarding my role here and what the outcome will be of many of the decisions that are made.  On the whole the operation of this place seems poor, with short sighted decisions and lack of follow through.  I don’t think I’m smarter than the average bear, although in reality I am, but I just don’t get why they can’t see the reality of their decisions.

Blog Name Change, and Description of Giftedness

Blog Name Change, and Description of Giftedness

The Blog name/description is new but the content will remain the same.

When I began the exercise of writing this blog I thought I would be unique and name it “My Journey through Depression”, thinking I would be a trendsetter.  Perhaps I should have googled the description beforehand as there are only about 5 million websites dealing with the same topic, many with a name very similar to the one I chose.  Who d’ve thunk?  So being the innovative guy I am I changed the description to what it is currently “Examining Myself – Depression & Being Gifted”.  Perhaps it would be wise to google this as well to see how many have chosen this tagline.

Having done that now and coming back I see only references to Depression and Giftedness.  A good sign.  I wasn’t sure about posting the “gifted” part, I still have issues with that description.  Although I think (ok I know) that I have a higher IQ than typical it is still something I have to accept and embrace.  Why I should have a challenge with it I don’t know, I should be proud.  I think part of it is that I have a distaste for those that toot their own horn, and I don’t want to be one of them.  Question – Why is that?

It seems like that is the way of the world though, and those that succeed or advance in life generally do that.  Pride and high self-esteem  Even self help books and management leadership books say that blowing your own horn is important.  That may be the case but it still doesn’t sit well with me.  It reminded me of a passage in “Tribal Leadership” where they talked about a group of business men chatting in an elevator, each one explaining his accomplishments and successive explanations topping the previous ones.  It went on to explain how that action was actually a sign that the group had advanced from one “Tribe” level or stage to another, as if the bravado itself was a sign of accomplishment and upward mobility.  Still hard for me to do.

On a more personal note I do exhibit many of the signs of being gifted, perfectionism, quick to learn, interest in a wide range of topics and others.  I may list some of them later.  My memory is not good at this time, although improving, and the frustration I feel as being misunderstood and the feeling I have that I can see the big picture when others can’t, those may be some of the symptoms that are exaggerated by the depression.  Even at that I don’t feel really depressed, I just know I am not feeling right.  Better, but not right.

I have a visit with my therapist/counselor tonight, perhaps I will ask her.

Text below is from a document “Solutions for the Problems of Giftedness”.

http://www.undoingdepression.com/GiftedAdultsResults.html

Read More Read More

Undoing Depression – Solutions for Giftedness

Undoing Depression – Solutions for Giftedness

http://www.undoingdepression.com/GiftedAdultsResults.html

In earlier poking around I came across this article talking about “Giftedness” and depression.  I found it really touched a chord with me, there were parts of it that made me think “this is me”, “I have these feelings”.  And here all this time I thought it was just me.

I haven’t looked much at the site that holds this link but plan to.