Tag: Angry

Depression. Mine is……well, Depressed – pt.2

Depression. Mine is……well, Depressed – pt.2

In my previous post I was giving a bit of an update on how I see things have gone for me lately, how I’m feeling better and generally less angry and frustrated.  I think I’m coming out of this tunnel called Depression. I believe I can see a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s not an oncoming train (I hope).

I discussed some of my symptoms, the treatments and path I took to deal with it, the meds and my visits with a counselor.  I left off with the discussion about if the death of my sons had any role in my depression.

More to the saga – read here

Depression. Mine is……well, Depressed – pt.1

Depression. Mine is……well, Depressed – pt.1

I’ve been feeling pretty good lately, not at all angry and as unhappy as I was before.  My depression, if that what it is, seems to have diminished or become depressed itself.  I was never 100% sure it was depression but as I understand there is a broad spectrum of symptoms and I had a number of them.  In some ways it’s hard to remember really what it was like during the bad times but I think some mental health issues are like that, in that when you start feeling good you forget a bit about what feeling bad was like.  I have a sense I didn’t like it much.  Being as I’m in a good space now I thought I could update things a bit.  Have a seat with me and let’s roll.

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Today's a Good Day

Today's a Good Day

I feel pretty good today, better than yesterday for sure. For whatever reason when I awoke yesterday morning I felt angry again. It was sort of an underlying anger, not a “punch the wall” anger, but a strong enough emotion that it was noticable that early in my day.  It’s hard to say why I felt that way, although I had forgotten to take my meds the night before but I wouldn’t think one day would set me back the way it did.  I promptly took my pill after I got up.

Underlying anger was one of the symptoms that led me to look for help.  At that time, about early Apr.2011, I went to my Doctor concerned over certain aspects of my life, sleep habits, mood, etc., he concurred with my suggestion of counseling, and he also sent me for some tests.  From there to here is a bit of a jump but essentially I was diagnosed with a mild depression, treatable with medication.  Mirtazapine was the drug of choice, 30mg the dosage.

So, back to today, I felt ‘normal” again this morning, a much improved state of mind.  With what happened yesterday morning and a general feeling my improvement has stopped I wonder if an increase in dosage is warranted.  I have a Dr. appointment next week and I can discuss with him.