Month: December 2012

Season’s Bleatings

Season’s Bleatings

‘Tis the season to be jolly, to share the time with loved ones, both friends and family. A time to enjoy one another’s fellowship and camaraderie, and for many a time to rejoice in their Savior’s birth. Gift giving aside it is a time to share and express kindness.

Why is it then that far too often what I see and hear from people are the murmurings of discontent, or the frequent platitudes of “Merry Christmas”, or “Happy New Year”, but uttered with a downcast look or the glazed expression of someone who wishes they were elsewhere. They (we) all say it like that at times, like so many sheep bleating out their mantra. They are….our ‘Season’s Bleatings’.

Is that cynical? Am I wrong? Has the Christmas season become one of giving only, and generating untold debt to do it? I hope not.

Somehow the holiday season is missing something (for me), and that saddens me. Neither Christmas nor New Years hold that charm they once did. It used to be a time of anticipation, joy, good cheer. Now it seems to bring me stress.

On a positive note I’m far less stressed than in the past. Whether I’ve matured, seen the light, or become numb to the holiday’s charm I am able to enjoy it more now than even a couple years ago, and that’s a good thing. Perhaps I’ve just reached some kind of equilibrium, maybe acceptance or tolerance, maybe it’s just my desire to see more positive in life and less negative, maybe my writing has helped. Whatever the cause I’m appreciative, glad I can see the light at the end of the tunnel and it’s not an oncoming train.

Maybe I’m turning over a new leaf, or perhaps as I age I’m just not as interested in following the masses. I’ve turned into an old goat standing alone on a hill, not a sheep huddling with the masses and sending out my ‘Season’s Bleatings’.

To all my friends and loved ones, enjoy the season, hug those you love and care for.

1 Holiday Down, 1 To Go

1 Holiday Down, 1 To Go

Christmas is over, that’s one special occasion down and one to go. New Years here I come.

Now this makes it sound like I don’t like the holidays, and that’s where you’d be wrong. I like them just fine, don’t necessarily love the season but certainly don’t dislike or hate it. I think it’s more the buildup and subsequent beehive of activity has leaves me now with a somewhat anti-climactic sense of blah.

Grey and overcast days contribute to the malaise, as does the withdrawl from sugar and high fat foods, and the desire to binge on the goodies and liquid Christmas cheer.  Look at me, I’m so hard done by.

It’s time now for the homesick, comfy clothes, the routine that signifies back to normal or the return to days without real purpose other than perpetual ‘do what you want’.  After all I’m retired now and my days are essentially filled with finding what interests me most on any particular day and doing it.  That could be anything from spending time on the computer, writing, shovelling, or doing laundry.  Such a range, such a life.

Away, But Not Gone

Away, But Not Gone

I am here, but not. Wanting but not having. Feeling but not saying. Alone but not lonely.
– me

I feel upside down sometimes, need change
I feel upside down sometimes, need change

It’s been some time since my last post. This sounds suspiciously like the preamble to a confession, where I enter the confessional and spill my sordid deeds to the priest. Tisn’t though.  First off I’m not Catholic and don’t really believe confessing my sins to another man carries any weight. My sins are between me and my God, or whatever Deity you may choose to believe in. But that’s just me, you have your beliefs and I have mine.

No, it’s only my ‘confession’ to you, my loyal readers.  Those that chose to follow my ramblings, to see where this lunatic would take you, and perhaps get the odd chuckle or maybe a thought provoking idea.  I love you for that, I truly do.  My confession today is about my blogging.

I know I’ve been remiss.  Many times I grabbed my laptop, or my iPhone, and thought “you know, I should post something”.  The rubber never hit the road, as they say, I never followed through with the thought.  Hope was not a plan.

I am ok though, I haven’t had a fall nor fallen ill.  I’ve just been busy, and where I realize you should never be too busy to write I guess the drive to do that, to write, just carried less weight than the other things going on in my life.  In actuality I’ve been feeling pretty good.  I’m still on a reduced dosage of my meds and looking to get off completely in a month or so (whenever I run out of pills). No, I’ve been busy with ‘life’.

We just got back from Hawaii, my wife and I, along with our daughter and her family.  We were enjoying the sun and surf, sightseeing, bonding (maybe too much bonding), and just generally trying to relax.  I took just over 650 photos, most of my grandson Madden, and have all those to deal with yet. What a problem to have.

Also just prior to our departure on Nov.29th I purchased a domain name and began setting up a website.  Since our return I’ve been fixated on getting that to a point where I feel ok with it, and then I began setting up an online gallery for all my photos.  This required more software acquisition, installation, and set up.  I’ve also become reacquainted with some family members and have had my interest in genealogy rekindled.  So many things to do, so little time.

So the long and short of it is that my focus has been oriented toward ‘other’ of my many interests.  Somehow in this cornucopia of things I like to do I still need to find that balance, a moderation of all things enjoyable.  Til then I deal with my passions in the only way I know how, to try and do them all.